I have never outgrown asking “why?”. I have a brain that enjoys thinking and a heart that wishes to help. I currently spend a great deal of time wondering why so many of us, born perfect in God’s sight, begin to believe that it isn’t safe or acceptable to be me. Why are we haunted by the belief “I am not enough”?
Being continually curious often rewards me with information in unusual ways. This weekend became a perfect example of that as I struggled to revive a personal flowerbed that was filled with dead or dying plants. I hired a gentleman named Pete to aid me in that task since I often, as the owner of not one but two black thumbs, am the source of my plants’ distress. As Pete began examining and carefully digging around each flower and bush, he made a surprising discovery; my plants were not dead! Yes, they were dying, not because of freezing cold or blistering heat, but because of a near fatal lack of nutrients and room to grow. The last “expert” I had hired apparently was no expert at all and had done all the worst possible things, unless he was trying to insure plant death. I can remember wondering about how he was digging the holes but overrode my questions because I trusted him rather than myself.
Instantly, I had a flash of insight! How many of us trust the “expert” rather than ourselves? How does that simple choice affect our perception of ourselves? I got very still as I realize how easy it has been for me to give away a piece of belief in myself…to label myself as a “black thumb with no ability to grow plants well” rather than as an intelligent woman who could learn to be a competent gardener. That choice diminished me in my own sight and hindered my ability to believe I could grow into the person God created me to be. Could it really be that easy to begin to see myself as “not enough”? I can hear you saying, “Oh come on now! That’s such a tiny thing. Nothing that insignificant is going to have any effect on you. You’re being ridiculous!” Am I though? I teach my clients to overcome traumas and heal “one tiny step at a time”. IT WORKS! What if the opposite is also true? The smallest step in the wrong direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. OH NO! Suddenly you have joined me in that still place where I realized how easy it had been to give away a piece of my belief in myself.
What are we going to do with this new found wisdom? It is profoundly important and could change our lives forever. While we have no control over the devastatingly painful people/events that explode unexpectedly into our lives, shattering our belief in ourselves, we now have a way to avoid damaging our own self-esteem. What shall we do now?
Lao Tzu once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”. It is time to take that all important step. First, calm yourself with some breaths. Breathe in and out through your nose. Then walk to the mirror you’ve been avoiding for so long. Look yourself straight in the eyes and say, “I BELIEVE IN YOU, AND FROM THIS MOMENT ON, I’M GOING TO TREAT YOU WITH LOVE AND RESPECT!” Now walk into the world and act as though this is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your entire life…because IT IS.